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Really? Give me a break! HAVE A MAGICAL WEEK - Vol. 41

Hi there!

I said in my newsletter last week that I was going to talk to you more about trauma today, however, I will pause on that and come back to that another time, if that’s OK? I have just experienced something that I think a lot of you will relate to and hopefully find what I am about to share helpful!

So, towards the end of last year, feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, I had to have a good look at what was no longer working in my life and business. For years, I had had solid routines and was incredibly disciplined but last year, I just couldn’t seem to get it together. I knew I needed to get the structure and boundaries back in my life, that I had unknowingly let slip. The thing is, without structure and discipline I was working so hard but still feeling like I wasn’t doing anything particularly well. I felt I was constantly just reacting and firefighting. One of the things that really bugged me was writing these newsletters! I knew I had a lot to say and how helpful some of you were finding them but each week I would find I was ‘too busy’ to consistently write them. There were exercises classes that I really wanted to go to in the week, but again, because I hadn’t planned my week, I just didn’t have the time to go and had filled that time with others things.

So after Christmas, I made a promise to myself that Monday mornings were going to be protected. That I would drop the boys off at school and come straight to the gym. I would sit in the clubhouse and treat myself to a pot of tea and a healthy breakfast and the first thing I would do was write my newsletter. I wouldn’t check my emails or get distracted by anything else. My headphones would go straight in with my beautiful classical piano playlist playing and I would just write. I would spend the morning here working and then go upstairs for my boxing class at lunch time.

Last Monday was amazing. I felt so good for starting my week in this way, knowing I had prioritised my needs and writing to you guys. This morning was different! I sat down at the table in the clubhouse, feeling really pleased with myself, my pot of tea on its way. I very quickly realised that I hadn’t put my laptop plug in my bag. Shit! I took a deep breath and thought, ‘Do you know what…it’s OK. I’ll work until my battery runs out and then I’ll go up to the gym and do and extra workout.’ I pressed the button on my laptop and nothing! Not even a flicker of life. Shit! So, feeling the annoyance rise up in me, I took another deep breath and thought, ‘It’s fine. I’ll catch up on my WhatsApp messages while I’m drinking my tea and I’ll head home to get it’.

Now, years ago, this would have led to a barrage of internal abuse and negativity….


“Oh my god, what is wrong with you!”

“I can’t believe you’ve done that!”

“You’ve just wasted an hour of your morning!”

“You could have spent that time so many other things.”

“That’s it now. Today is ruined.”

“What a great start! It’s going to be one of those weeks now.”

“Don’t complain that you haven’t got any time when you’ve just wasted all that time.”

“I don’t know why you bother.”

“What’s the point in anything. NOTHING ever works out the way you want it to.”

“You’ve only just got here. What is everyone going to think?”

“It’s you 35 minutes to get here through the school traffic – what a waste of time.”

“You’re an absolute idiot!”

“How embarrassing!”


Sound familiar?

This would have gone on and on. I would have left feeling completely pissed off with myself. I probably would have had a little cry in frustration and it literally would have ruined the whole day. I would have begun on the slippery slope down to misery. The thing is when you’re in a bad mood, generally other things go wrong to add to that. You don’t concentrate as well, you make mistakes, all confirming that life is shit, that you are SHIT!

As I picked up my bags, fighting the wave of negativity that was so desperately trying to take a hold, I made a joke to the waitress and said I would be back (making a joke of things, laughing, smiling, is a great way to shift your state). I got in my car and reframed what had happened, focussing on everything I could be grateful for…


“I am so fortunate to be a member of somewhere so beautiful.”

“No one has died.”

“I hadn’t let anyone down.”

“I could just go back!”

“I get to have another cup of tea when I get back.”

“It gave me chance to get back to my clients and earlier than I’d planned.”

“I have a lovely car and enough petrol to get me there and back.”

“I would have something to write about in my newsletter today! Writing about trauma didn’t feel right today anyway.”

“I got to listen to a whole extra episode of a podcast that I’m really enjoying.”

“I have a laptop!”

“I work for myself and I’m in control of my diary.”


I knew though that if I went into the house there was a possibility that I might not come back out and I then, quite possibly, would make an excuse not to come back to my boxing class. I know that giving myself more than 5 seconds to think before taking an action was all it needed for the excuses to come flooding in and all the reasons why it would be better to stay at home. So, I literally ran in, grabbed the plug and jumped back in my car before my brain had time to start with the bargaining and I headed back. To make matters worse, it took me twice as long to get back here because I got stuck behind a bloody tractor! I was determined not to let anything impact my mood and deter me from my plan, despite the annoying voice in my head telling me just to give up and go home.

Now, this way of thinking certainly does not come naturally to me. I have been grown up in a world surrounded by pessimistic people – pessimism, anxiety, guilt are my default settings.

I have trained myself to think this way. By religiously filling out a gratitude journal every day; by actively looking for the positives in any rubbish situations; by celebrating the magical moments in everyday; by consciously finding things to be proud of myself for; by putting my needs first; by making myself do hard things and building up my emotional resilience over time.

My morning routine has been spot on for weeks now and I am really feeling the benefits. This morning I got up early, ran 5k, did my manifestation meditation; wrote in my journal; did my tarot cards; drank my celery juice. It’s making yourself do the hard things, even when you don’t feel like it, that help you to build this mental muscle and help you to cope better with the day to day stresses. If I had gotten up late and been rushing around this morning, I DEFINITELY would not have had enough patience and resilience left in the tank to cope with todays little setback.

But, I’m sitting here, sipping my cup of tea as I write this, feeling proud of myself. I know you will have experienced things like this on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Being a human is hard!

If you struggle with stress and anxiety, my greatest pieces of advice to you are…

💪 Create a solid morning routine/ritual filled with lots of self-care and positivity

💪 Get everything organised the night before to limit the amount of stresses and decisions you have to make in the morning

💪 Be firm with yourself – when the negative thoughts creep in, say “No! I am NOT allowing this to shake me. Instead, I choose to think……..” and fill the gaps with gratitude

💪 Celebrate what has gone right, what you have achieved, rather than what’s gone wrong, what you’ve not managed to do

💪 Put things into perspective

💪 Breathe and smile!

Remember, nothing outside of you can make you feel anything. You choose whether you let the thing impact you or not. Things happen. Life throws up these little challenges but actually right now, in this moment, everything is perfect. You are safe. All is well. You are perfect.

Give yourself a break. You’re doing your best.

Have a magical week, you beautiful people 🌈💜🎉

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