top of page

Newsletter Vol 31 - Holidays don't fix things (Be aware of your values)

I know it’s been a little while since my last newsletter. I’ve been to Disneyworld for 2 weeks, which was amazing as always, but the rest of the time I’ve been putting off writing this!

For the last couple of months, I’ve been feeling a little lost. I thought it was just the aftermath of my husband’s health issues, the stress of taking on the new building and the fact that our team has more than doubled this year. I recognised how I was feeling and thought that I just needed a break. I was hoping that a couple of weeks in Florida and completely switching off would do the trick. I thought I’d come back refreshed and renewed. But I didn’t.

I know so many people that live for their holidays, for that glimmer of happiness, which they get but then it’s gone. The problems and stresses are still there, lingering, ready to take hold again. The things that were getting me down before were still there. Disneyworld feels like a distant memory now even though it was only 4 weeks ago.

I have felt overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted. The thought of writing a newsletter or creating a social media post has just felt too much. I have just needed to retreat. It has made me question everything. An existential crisis is a bit dramatic but something to that effect!

We sometimes need to get to this breaking point to have a real breakthrough. I know I have had to feel like this to re-evaluate what’s important to me in my life and in my business, in order to be able to move to the next level.

So, I’ve journalled, meditated and revisited my career values, something I normally do every few months to see if everything is still aligned with what I need. For those of you that aren’t sure what values are, they act like your compass, your Sat Nav. They are the things that are most important to you, a list of criteria that you need. When you’re following the path of your values, you are happy and content. When your values are not being met in your life, you can feel stuck, lost, sad. Your values are passed down from your parents, grandparents, teachers, culture, religion, time and area that you live. They are mostly unconscious and they drive your behaviour and decisions.

I realised that I hadn’t been meeting one of my very important values which is learning something new that I can pass on to help others. I used to listen to podcasts every morning on my runs and often share the things I’d learnt in my sessions. I haven’t been running regularly for a little while now because of an injury and because I’m doing a marketing course, every spare moment I’ve been watching videos for that, but it hasn’t been satisfying my thirst for new information that will help others. Another value that I realised wasn’t even on my list was connection. I have come to realise that I have felt quite lonely in my business. People have said to me before that it must be lonely working for yourself but I’ve never felt it up until now. Even though I have a wonderful team, because of the set up of our rooms, we don’t often cross paths and I’ve felt on my own in my new room, carrying the weight of everything.

So, I spent time re-writing my values, getting super honest with myself and then with a focus on actions that will help me to feel better.

Here are my new ones…

  1. Support and connection – to have a team that get me and my vision, help each other, to have fun, to have people to bounce ideas off

  2. Making a difference – doing something worthwhile that is going to matter and help people to live a better life

  3. Financial freedom– provide for my family so that we can travel the world, have incredible adventures, have nice things, treat my family and friends, give back to the community

  4. Learning and Growth – to be learning and looking at how to improve myself and what I can offer, the more I learn, the more I can pass on to other people

  5. Sharing my knowledge – to help others to improve their lives, supporting others, nurturing them and seeing them grow

  6. Variety – it has got to be interesting and be different each day

  7. Creativity and innovation – I love making new things, finding new ways of doing things, problem solving

  8. Freedom/Control – I want to make the decisions and have the freedom to run the business how I want to run it

From my list, I wrote down the percentages which reflected how much I felt these values were currently being met. Then I wrote down a list of things that could help to increase these percentages by 20%, focussing on the values that I scored lower than 80%. I then picked one action that would help me to move in the right direction.

I feel completely different this week just knowing what I need to do to make a change. Nothing has actually changed yet but I am now clear on what I need and the steps I can take to get there. I feel excited! There are lots of exciting changes to come. I’ve had to make some difficult decisions but I know that I have to let go of what is no longer serving me.

So many of us stay stuck in the same relationships, jobs and situations for years because it’s what we’ve always done. We are forever changing though. Our values are forever changing. What was important to us today may be very different today to what was important to us a few months ago or a few years ago.

Change is scary, terrifying even. Sometimes it’s the only thing to set you free though. If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

If you too have been feeling a little lost, I would recommend that you reflect on your values. You can do this for life in general, your career and your relationships. These are the steps to take to uncover your values…

  1. Ask the following question, ‘What is important to me in my life/relationship/career?’ You may only be able to name 5 or 6 but these are your conscious values (the ones you are aware of). We want you to dig deep and unearth the unconscious values as these are the ones that are usually the most important.

  2. When you write down a value, ask ‘Why is this important? What does this give me?’ This may help you to uncover the deeper values

  3. Look at your list and delete any repetitions. You might think that some feel similar. Cross out the ones you don’t need and keep the ones you do.

  4. Prioritise ALL values. Number each one so that you pay careful consideration to each one. Number 1 is the most important value in your life.

  5. Take your top 8 values. Check that they feel like they are in the right order and that their worded right. Try to make sure that they are ends values not means values to get to the deepest root. Means values = the means to get to the emotion/feeling we want i.e. family is a means value to give us love. End values = these are the deepest level of the value i.e. love

  6. Next to each value in your top 8, give each one a percentage in terms of how much this is being met in your life/relationship/career currently.

  7. For any value that is lower than 80%, write down the actions you can take to raise that percentage by 20%.

  8. Reflect on your values every few weeks to make sure that your life is in line with what YOU need.

I thought it was important to share with you why I’ve been quiet for a little while. I want you to know that EVERYBODY loses their way from time to time. It doesn’t matter how successful someone is, how much money they have, how often they meditate! Everyone gets stressed and overwhelmed. A few people have suggested that I re-read my book! It’s probably not a bad idea! When you lose your way, just know that there’s always a way back. Just concentrate on taking small steps. Make every day 1% better than the day before and you’ll have your mojo back in no time.

I will keep you posted about the changes we’ll be making over the next couple of weeks.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Have a magical week, you beautiful people 🌈💜🎉

1 view0 comments


bottom of page