So, I didn’t end up doing my Reiki training after all because for the last week and a half I’ve had (still got!) blinking Covid 🤕. It has really knocked me about. I feel as though the last 2 weeks have been a blur. Both me and the boys have had it and today Andrew has tested positive. It feels as though it’s never-ending! 😩
I have allowed myself to eat what I’ve wanted to eat 🥡🍨🍔, sleep when I’ve needed to 😴and watch absolute rubbish on Netflix 🙈. This is big for me. If I didn’t have tests saying I was positive then I would normally have pushed myself to just carry on.
It has been interesting to just sit back and observe the different thoughts that have floated in and out of my head. All sorts of things have been triggered! 😩The annoying voice in my head has berated me for wasting this time and not making the most of it. I had just started a new weight loss/fitness program with my friend and I felt bad that I hadn’t lost any weight. The voice told me, ‘Lots of other people have lost a stone by having Covid and you’ve just eaten filth – this could have been the thing to kickstart your weight loss,’ and, ‘you could have used this time to plan at least a month’s worth of social media posts/update the website/contact businesses. You’ve done nothing!’ It screamed at me. ‘What a waste of time!’ On top of that, it’s been lying to me and telling me how disappointed my clients must be that I’ve had to rearrange and how upset they probably are with me. I had to have a little chuckle because how bonkers is this?! 😂
My logical, well brain knows that…
💯I am allowed to be poorly
💯I am allowed to eat what I want (especially when I’m poorly)
💯I am not expected to exercise when I’m ill
💯I am allowed to rest
💯Being healthy is more important than being thin
💯If I don’t fit into my Florida clothes then I can just buy bigger clothes!
💯I am allowed to switch off from the business
💯I am allowed to rearrange clients as I wouldn’t be giving them my best and I would expect them to look after themselves in the same circumstances
💯My clients are beautiful, understanding people who wouldn’t want me to have sessions when I’m not well
My poorly brain/ego/inner child/fear – whatever we want to call it - has a different idea! It has been trying to protect me from hurt, pain, neglect, failure, disappointment by trying to convince me that I’m not worthy unless I’m serving others and putting myself last. I call BS! 🐂💩And that’s why I chuckled! Years ago, I would have believed this voice and not only would I be feeling ill but my anxiety would be spiralling out of control by now, making me feel 10 times worse.
We all have this voice in our head. This is the voice of people in your past who have made you feel less than. This is not you. This voice does not speak the truth. It lies. It manipulates. It does anything it can to keep you safe.
I have learnt over the years to acknowledge it and thank it for the warnings but politely ignore it. I now challenge it until I FIND THE REAL TRUTH.
The truth is…
I am good enough and I have worth and this ISN’T conditional. I am all of these things despite what I’m doing.
🤔I wonder what that voice in your head tells you?
🤔How do you respond?
🤔Is there any truth behind what it’s saying?
🤔What could you choose to believe instead?
A gentle reminder for you (and me!) – YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME! YOU CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP. YOU ARE IMPORTANT!
I know Covid seems to be going around again at the minute so I hope you all stay safe and well.
Have a magical week, you beautiful people 🌈💜🎉