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Newsletter vol. 25 - You don't have to live like this! (Phobias)

I had the most wonderful session on Friday with a client who came to see me because of a phobia of escalators/travellators. They had had this phobia for 51 years 😨 and just thought that it was something they had to live with. It impacted everywhere they went - instead of going up the escalator with their family and friends they’d have to go out of their way to find a lift or stairs. This meant quite often things took a lot longer than they needed to; they felt like they were a burden; sometimes it meant them being split up from the people they were with and it just took the enjoyment out of going to places. It was something they always had to think about and plan for beforehand - where were the escalators? What other routes could they take? What if there’s no other way?

They felt silly. Their adult, logical mind knew there was nothing to be scared of but even the thought of an escalator sent their anxiety sky high and they felt like a child again.

So, something had to be done about it! 🙋

I am so happy they came to see me because after 3 hours of working together - chatting it through, finding the root, challenging the thinking around it and doing some NLP magic - we went straight to Sainsbury’s and went up and down the travelator 3 times (and with a smile!)!!! A phobia they had had for 51 years, gone! It was incredible - for them and for me to see the joy in their face as they knew they’d done something amazing and conquered their fear. 🎉🎈💪💯💥I spoke to them over the weekend and they’ve now got the escalator bug and went up another 3 escalators with their family. This client is now determined to build on this so that eventually they can go on them on their own and then one day for it not to even be a thing that takes up space in their brain! I am so excited to hear how they get on!

I couldn’t be prouder! 😁

So what is a phobia?

We all have fears. We are all scared of something. A phobia is different in that it can be debilitating. It is an intense, overwhelming fear that persists usually for more than 6 months. It is an exaggerated, usually illogical, fear of an object, place or situation.

Did you know….

🤔Phobias usually develop between the ages of 5 and 13 (which was the case for this nearly 60 year old client)

🤔There is always an installation point (something that happened to trigger it)

🤔No-one is born with a phobia - the anxiety is a symptom of something you have experienced

🤔The age you are when the phobia is triggered then depends on how specific the phobia is

For example, if you were frightened by a dog…

At age 3 - you may develop a fear of all animals 🐼🐙🐧🐵🐸🐷

At age 7 - you may develop a fear of all dogs 🐩🐕🐺

At age 10 - you may develop a fear of Rottweilers 🐕

🤔It doesn’t matter how long you’ve had it for - you can get rid of it

🤔You can acquire a phobia through a trauma, by copying behaviour and by being told those things are scary - it might not actually be your fear!

🤔Over time, we add more and more things that we are scared of, that are similar to the original fear - it’s like we collect things to add into the phobia!

Quite often the thing we develop a phobia of isn’t the root. A fear of escalators in a lot of cases is actually a phobia of heights. A fear of flying or going in lifts, is more than likely a phobia of being in enclosed spaces. Maybe you felt stuck or trapped somewhere when you were little. You may then fear any small spaces.

When we have a phobia, it is useful to go back over the timeline of your life and think about what may have triggered it. See if there was something between those ages in particular. Once we know the root, we can then use NLP and hypnotherapy and some clever questioning to help to challenge your thinking and rewire your brain to trigger a different response.

I find phobias fascinating and have worked with so many people to help them to overcome fears of flying, birds, spiders, magpies. It is incredible to see someone that is weighed down by this and then at the end of the session be free from the shackles of the phobia.

Whatever your fears and anxieties are about, I want you to know that you NEVER have to just live with them.. If you weren’t born with it then there is always something that you can do about it.

Do you have a phobia?😲😱 Is there something that consumes your mind and gets in the way of you functioning or getting the full enjoyment in life? I would LOVE to help you with this. 🤍

Have a magical week, you beautiful people 🌈💜🎉

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