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Newsletter vol. 26 - A touch of verbal diarrhoea! (Processing your emotions)

I hope you’ve had a lovely long weekend filled with Jubilee festivities. The Jubilee has passed me by a little, if I’m honest. I had a lovely weekend catching up with different friends, going back to the meditation class that I love but then yesterday just hibernating! 🐢

It was a tricky day. I had nothing left. The thought of interacting with another human was just too much. In the words of Ronan Keating, life has definitely been a rollercoaster and I wanted to get off! Have you ever felt like that? As I’ve mentioned in the last couple of emails, life has been full on for us over the last couple of months, filled with lots of positives but there have also been lots of uncertainties hanging over us like a black cloak, weighing us down.

I have just had a session with my lovely supervisor where I just verbally vomited on her for an hour, filling in her on the events of the last month since our last session. I didn’t realise how much I’d been carrying. It has left me thinking about how we deal with uncertainty. For some of us, uncertainty is so painful. We live for certainty, order and control. We struggle to function without it. We write lists, have strict routines, set menus, and take control of everything just so that we feel more certain. We all need an element of certainty but to have it 100% of the time is impossible and exhausting trying to get it.

A lot of the uncertainty we’re facing at the moment centres around my husband’s health. The thing that has helped me more than anything is the belief that no matter what happens, we will deal with it and that everything will be OK. I never used to believe this. I was worried about everything. Every time I had a headache, I joked with my friend (except it wasn’t a joke) that I had a brain tumour. I used to fret about everything, just waiting to die or for someone I loved to die. This was until I learnt about the Law of Attraction and the power of the Universe.

Some people have faith in a particular religion and this helps them to get through tough times. I have faith in the Universe. I don’t know who or what it is up there but I now believe that things will work out for the best and that everything happens for a reason. The Universe has my back, so to speak, and that it has a plan for me that I’m not aware of. 🌎🌎🌎If something tricky happens then I instantly thank the Universefor sending me the challenge and think about what it’s trying to teach me, what it wants me to learn or pay attention to.

Like I said, I haven’t always believed this. I’ve trained myself to think like this. Every morning and throughout the day, I used to repeat affirmations to myself to help install new healthier beliefs. I revisited my past and realised that I got through even the toughest times fairly unscathed and that there was always some positive outcome or lesson. By training my mind, I started to believe over time, that I was strong, not weak and fragile like I’d previously believed 💪.

With the uncertainty around my husband’s health, I have not felt that anxious. I made the decision that I will worry when I know there’s something to worry about. I know how stress and anxiety can impact the body so it really isn’t going to help him to be in that state either. Instead, I’ve sprung into action and thought, ‘What can we do about it now? How can we gain some control in a time where we feel we have little?’ So, I have been thrusting lemon water, celery juice and smoothies at him first thing in a morning to help! Even if it turns out to be something more serious, I think I will still take the same line of thinking. That’s not to say that I won’t be upset but I will think, ‘Right, OK. What can we do to help?’

The uncertainty is the worst bit, isn’t it? Whether that is waiting for medical test results or waiting for your exam results. Once you know the outcome, you can put a plan in place. Until then you can tie yourself in knots, thinking about what could happen. If you hear yourself going down the ‘What if’ route, remind yourself that it’s not helpful. You are just telling yourself a story and wasting precious energy and brain space that could be being used to take care of you, your loved ones or taking action.

If you are going through uncertainty, it can be so helpful to…

🤍Talk to someone that is not involved. Even speaking to friends and family can be tricky at time because no matter how hard they try to be impartial, they are emotionally invested in you and what goes on in your life. There is true magic in speaking to a counsellor or coach to let it all out, process it and find a way through the messiness in your head.

🤍Set aside some ‘Worry Time’ each day. The more you try not to think about something, the more it pops up. Give yourself permission to think about it but for a set period of time. Set an alarm for 15 minutes and worry about it as much as you need to! By delaying the worry time until the evening, you may feel that when the time comes to worry, the need has disappeared.

🤍Do something to give your brain a break. Jigsaws, puzzles, painting – anything where you need to concentrate and that will help to distract you from your worries.

🤍Write it all down. Empty your head of everything that is playing on your mind. Getting it out on paper can be so therapeutic. It also helps you to feel like you’re doing something, being proactive and gives you the feeling of being more in control.

🤍Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself and give yourself space to feel. Understand that you may not be quite firing on all cylinders at the moment. That some things may need to give just while you are going through this period.

🤍Practice gratitude. Be grateful for the certainty and positive things in your life that you do have.

🤍Remind yourself that this won’t last forever. You’ll have the answers you need, before you know it. Even if they’re not the answers you want, at least you can do something with them and remember that, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Even if you can’t see it in the moment, I guarantee you’ll be able to look back and take something positive from it.

I love this quote from my book, ‘You can’t calm the storm so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass’. Life is always full of ups and downs but your thoughts and how you deal with them is what matters.

Remember, you are amazing and strong and you can handle whatever life throws at you. So…BRING IT ON!

Have a magical week, you beautiful people 🌈💜🎉

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